


Red Asphalt Washed Clean

by Morpheus626



Category: Saints Row
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25044220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morpheus626/pseuds/Morpheus626
Summary: My first Saints Row Boss Ell’s reaction to what happened to Carlos and the role she played in it. I know the game shows the Boss being a badass and Ell certainly can be but she’s not totally unbreakable and this is one time she breaks. Also includes OT3 stuff but nothing overt–just kind of silly and cutesy towards the end. This might not fit exactly with the SR2 canon game timeline, but I admit right out that for some reason I can’t keep track of that timeline–apologies in advance for that.
Relationships: Aisha (Saints Row)/Female Boss (Saints Row)/Johnny Gat
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Red Asphalt Washed Clean

They wouldn’t answer. She knew they wouldn’t, but she didn’t know where else to go. They’d be asleep, and she’d probably end up sleeping in their driveway in her car. That wasn’t ideal either, but she didn’t know where else she would go.

The rain was coming down so hard it made it difficult for her to see as she drove–but her shaking hands and the tears running down her face made it even worse. She was amazed she hadn’t hit anything or anyone as she pulled into Aisha’s driveway. 

She tried not to knock hard on the door, because she should let them sleep, she shouldn’t bother them, this was all her fault and had nothing to do with them. 

She waited a few minutes, but the house seemed silent. She’d turned to walk back to her when the door cracked open and a bleary-eyed Johnny looked out.

“Ell, its three in the morning, what the fu–” 

She didn’t give him a chance to finish his sentence before running back to him and wrapping her arms around him.

“Carlos is dead. I had to kill him Johnny he was just a kid and I killed him–they fucked him up so badly he was in so much pain and its all my fault it happened. I told him I’d take care of him; I was gonna teach him how to be a Saint; I–” Ell gasped as she clung to Johnny. She felt like she was drowning; she couldn’t catch her breath–but if she died now she figured she’d deserve it for letting Carlos go out the way he had.

Johnny was quiet as he led her into the house and to the couch, helping to hold her up. Aisha was standing on the landing of the stairs, but she ran over to them immediately once she could tell Ell was crying.

“Are you hurt?” Johnny asked, his tone unnervingly calm. 

Ell shook her head. Aisha sat down beside her and started to look her over anyways. Ell didn’t blame her for not believing her–the way she was sobbing it would seem like she was injured.

“What happened?” Aisha asked quietly after she’d finished looking Ell over. 

Ell shook her head. She wasn’t sure she could repeat it all to them. She would have to, but she felt like she’d fall apart if she did. 

“Ell.” Johnny sat on the other side of her and used a gentle hand to move her head so she was looking at him. “What happened out there?” 

Without his trademark sunglasses, Ell had full contact with his eyes, full of worry and concern, and she broke into a fresh bout of sobs and turned away from him. 

“We can’t help you if you don’t tell us.” Aisha said softly. 

Ell took a breath and straightened up, trying to keep her voice from shaking. “Jessica and Maero’s crew took him. To get back at me for fucking up Maero’s face.” 

“So you went to go find him, right?” Aisha supplied. 

Ell nodded. “Jessica called me and told me where he was. And I thought I was going to get there in time to stop her. I tried, I really did, I drove as fast as I could and they were–they were dragging him from the back of one of their trucks.” 

She stopped for a moment, and heard a sharp intake of breath from each of them. 

“Keep going.” Johnny told her, but from the look on his face she guessed he’d rather she didn’t. And that made her feel all the worse, because it said a lot of see Johnny truly upset by violence.

“So I got them to stop. I’ve got like no fucking ammo for anything anymore, but they stopped. And I knew he wasn’t going to be in great shape but I thought maybe…I don’t know what I thought.” The image of Carlos’ face and body, bloody and shredded, flashed into her head and she thought she was going to be sick. 

“Take your time.” Aisha said as she rubbed Ell’s back. She was obviously unsettled and uncomfortable hearing about all of this, but Ell admired and appreciated that she cared enough to listen and try and comfort her. 

“He probably wouldn’t have made it to a hospital anyway. But I guess I don’t know that so maybe I should have tried to get him there. But he was in so much pain and he took my hand–” Ell took another deep breath. She was going to be sick; it was like doing it all over again. But she knew she had to finish telling them first.

“And I pulled my pistol and he nodded yes that I should–that I should end it for him. So I did. And he’s gone and he was just a kid and I did this to him. He was doing so well and he was gonna do great things with the Saints and god his poor fucking family and…” Ell couldn’t keep going. 

She stood and ran back outside, and vomited at the end of the driveway. She sat there on the sidewalk for what felt like ages, with the rain soaking her sweatshirt anew. She’d done a lot of shit with and for the Saints, but this was the first thing to really rend her in two. This was one of the worst things she’d done, and she didn’t know if she could forgive herself for it. 

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been out there when Johnny and Aisha came out to get her. She couldn’t get her legs to work; she felt numb–so Johnny carried her back into the house. She didn’t move after he set her on the couch–if she moved, then it would all be real and she’d have to face it as it replayed in her head over and over. 

She didn’t say anything as they took care of her. Aisha was able to pull her up to sit just enough that they could get her wet sweatshirt off and pull one of Johnny’s old T-shirts over her head. She kicked off her shoes and socks without being asked before she flopped back onto the couch, but that was about as much as she could bear. 

Johnny stayed out with her the rest of the morning. She knew he was hoping she’d sleep, but she couldn’t. Her eyes hurt and screamed for rest, but she just couldn’t manage it. 

Aisha took the initiative to call Pierce and Shaundi to tell them what had happened. Ell felt awful for that; they should have heard it from her, but at the same time she was so incredibly grateful to Eesh for taking care of it for her. 

She spent the rest of the day on their couch, knowing she’d have to get up and keep going at some point, but dreading having to do so. She’d have to face the rest of the Saints and, if she went to the funeral, Carlos’ family. And she just wasn’t sure she could do it; damn how might make her look to the Saints and their rivals. 

Johnny and Aisha clearly knew to leave her be for the most part. They went about their day, periodically checking in on her to place a glass of water or a bit of food on the coffee table for her. 

It was after she left the Freckle Bitch’s untouched that Johnny sat and talked to her again. 

“You have to eat. You’re just gonna make yourself sick if you don’t. And I can’t run this show on my own so I need you to get up and try at least.” 

She sat up and turned to him, expecting something like anger or frustration. Instead she only found fear and worry. 

He’d taken his glasses off and wouldn’t break eye contact with her once she looked at him. And that was the worst, just as bad as it had been in the hours earlier–being able to so clearly see the fear and concern in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry, you’re right. I’ll be back to normal by tomorrow I just–” Ell sighed, frustrated with herself. She was supposed to be tougher than this.

Johnny shook his head. “I don’t need you to be back to normal, and it would be fucked up for me to expect you to be. I just need to you to try, to eat and go out and do something because if you don’t…look, it’ll only get harder to do the longer you sit and do nothing.”

He dropped his head into his hands and sighed. “I’m not trying to be insensitive, Ell, I swear to god, you know I love you and I know you’re hurting. But I’ve never wanted to run the Saints, and I’ve already got people asking what the fuck’s going on. So we have to do something.”

She moved closer to him as he leaned back into the couch, and he wrapped an arm around her to pull her to him. They sat in silence for a few moments, until Aisha walked over and joined them. 

She leaned against Ell’s shoulder, and reached to take one of Ell’s hands in hers. “I know you don’t think you can do anything right now. And I didn’t know and don’t know much about Carlos–but I know he was a Saint, and that means he was important. He’d want you to keep going, wouldn’t he?”

Ell nodded. Eesh was right–if it had been someone else, and Carlos was here now to comfort her he would have been trying to get her out the door, to move and show the city that the leader of the Saints could take a hit and keep going no problem. 

“Tomorrow we take care of Jessica, and after her, Maero. They’ll pay for what happened to Carlos.” Ell said, her voice finally stable and sounding almost confident. 

“Okay.” Aisha said as she squeezed Ell’s hand. “You’ll stay here tonight, and tomorrow you and Johnny can head out and do whatever it is you’ve got planned for these people.” 

“I take it you don’t wanna know what I’m thinking of for them, right?” Ell smiled. 

“Damn right. I know you’ll do what you have to, and that’s all I need to know. Just do me a favor, both of you, and come back safe.” Aisha said. 

“As if we’d ever come back to you in anything less than perfect condition.” Johnny said, sarcasm on the edge of his voice. 

Aisha smirked. “Says the man who came home a few days ago and bled all over my kitchen from nearly being shot.” 

“I got grazed, not ‘nearly shot.’ Skin bleeds a lot when that happens, that was out of my control.” Johnny said. 

“She puts up with way too much with us, doesn’t she?” Ell asked as Aisha left the room. 

“Yeah.” Johnny agreed.

“We don’t deserve her, do we?” 

Johnny laughed. “Probably not. But she’s willing to put up with us, so that’s her choice.” 

Ell settled against him. Careful banter like this was bringing her back to herself–she wasn’t going to be really okay for awhile yet, but she knew at least that she would be okay, even if the Saints were one member shorter and she never totally forgave herself for what happened. She still had Johnny, and Aisha, and the rest of the Saints who had her back. And that would be more than enough to keep her going. 


End file.
